Review: Fifty Shades of Green: The Judgment of Eric by Andrew Peters

This story seemed promising enough: Eric finds himself in the middle of a contest between Apollon and Dionysos - a contest to find out who of the two gods is the better lover...

Sadly, the story doesn't satisfyingly deliver on that promise.

In the very first sentence, there is a minor detail that rubbed me the wrong way:

When it came to his garden, Eric tended to be eclectic, practical, and most of all, cheap.

The story goes on to tell me how he bought cheap plants. Am I to conclude from that info that Eric is a cheapskate? If he is supposed to be poor, I think it could have been conveyed in a better way. Since it doesn't come up in the story anymore, there wasn't any need to talk about it in the first place. So I already throw this guy some serious side-eye.

Apollon and Dionysos appear and they are sexy and naked. Apollon corrects Eric who thinks he's playing a harp which reconciled me a bit because I thought it was funny.

We find out Athena is also with them. Usually it's Hermes who presides over contests, but it's not entirely clear why Athena is with them, other than to be a voice of reason, which, granted, Hermes possibly wouldn't be in this scenario.

The contest starts with some kissing and then the two gods each give fellatio to Eric. But then killjoy Athene gets into Eric's head (literally) and he tells Apollon and Dionysos that the only way to judge who the better lover is would be by the two of them having sex with each other. I don't see how that would actually be helpful, but I don't care, I'm so here to see Apollon and Dionysos fuck!

But the story just ends there! The gods are leaving and Eric's memory is wiped. I feel cheated. Don't promise divine sex if you're not going to deliver.

Comments

What I liked about this story was the way the presence of the gods manifested. Dionysos' kiss makes Eric go from "sober to staggering drunk", his aura if you will, makes him want to strip naked and run through the mountains. Apollon fills Eric's body with heat and just hearing his music makes him blissful and happy while Athena gives him clarity and kills all arousal.

The look of the gods, as far as described, is similar to the way they are shown in ancient art.

I doubt the gods would give a mortal fellatio, though, unless they adopted a modern mindset. In ancient Greece, fellatio was considered something done by a slave or at the very least someone of lower social standing. There were jokes about fellators having bad breath. The second challenge could have been irrumatio, though, where the gods actively fuck his mouth. It probably wouldn't have been as pleasurable for Eric, but hey, he's a mortal after all.

Favourite Quote

The one on the right had golden hair and light seemed to glow around him. Eric could see a quiver of arrows over the man's shoulder. He held a harp at his waist, half covering his cock, just barely.

"It's a lyre, actually." the golden one said. "It's not a harp. It's a lyre."

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