Fiction: Hermes & Charon: Treasure Hunters
This is the Charmes fanfic I wrote for the Beach Episode fanzine. The theme was summer fun at the beach, featuring any Hades game characters. You can get the whole zine here, there is really great art and fic in there and the zine is a labour of love that is free to download.
The art of Kryptidkeeper is a perfect illustration of this story, completely by chance. Check it out here:
Hermes & Charon:
Treasure Hunters
Hermes ran over the earth and sea, faster than any god could reasonably expect to follow. The light of Helios was burning from the sky and the midday heat called for a much needed break. His family was visiting the sea gods, in other words: they were having a beach day. Hermes had been sent to get chilled nectar and ambrosia from the peaks of Olympus. He was fast enough to deliver but it wouldn't be cool for long unless aunt Demeter helped out with her icy touch. But what Hermes was really looking forward to this time was the chthonic gods joining. Zagreus must have been respectfully begging long enough for his father to give in. And that meant Charon would be here. He had to ferry them all from Tartarus to the surface, right? Hermes took a steep dive as he spotted his family on a set of colourful blankets below. Poseidon's bellowing voice carried far up into the heavens. Hades was sitting with his siblings, an umbrella shielding him from the piercing rays of Helios. There was Zagreus in the water, splashing Meg, whose bright pink bikini caught his eye even from up here. Thanatos was nowhere to be seen and he couldn't spot Nyx either. But Hypnos was snoring on a floating rubber pegasus over whose derpy eyes he had put a sleep mask. Surely it had been Charon taking all these chthonic gods to the surface. Hermes dropped off the nectar and ambrosia, smiling brightly at Demeter.
"Your daughter came up all the way from the underworld!" he proclaimed. Persephone was sitting under the umbrella with Hades, a floral bikini alluding to her domain. "You must be so excited!"
"It is indeed a delight to see her during her time away from Olympus," Demeter replied.
"I can tell since the weather is still hot," Hermes joked. "Were you here to greet the queen?"
"Of course I was."
"How did she arrive?"
"She rode with Hades and the little sprout in the boat of Charon."
"Thanks auntie Demeter!" Hermes hopped into the air. He'd spot the boat if it was still here. High above the beach he could see the looming entry to the underworld in the distance, where the Styx flowed red and roaring into the sea. Just when he was about to turn away, he spotted Charon's bark between the waves. There was someone else aboard, doubtless some other chthonic deity eager to see the light of Helios for once. Hermes raced over, descending towards the boat and making a show of pretending to walk on the water with his winged boots. Charon didn't bat an eye but his mother Nyx, who sat in the bark holding a dark parasol, raised an eyebrow at him. Hermes stopped and hovered next to the boat, bowing towards the powerful goddess.
"Lady Nyx, what a charming sight! Haven't seen you in ages! The Queen of the Underworld will be thrilled to see you!" Hermes beamed at her.
Nyx indicated a nod and Hermes understood that this was the end of the conversation.
Charon silently helped her out of the bark and she made her way to the group of gods lounging on their bath sheets. Hermes returned his gaze to Charon.
"I've been waiting for you, boss!" he exclaimed.
A low rumble came in reply.
"I know, I know, you've got places to be, same as me. I've got things to deliver, you've got people to deliver. But is there maybe time for a little break?"
Charon looked back towards the entrance to the underworld. He pulled his large hat deeper into his face and hummed.
"Splendid, boss! I've got just the thing!"
He pulled a gadget from his bag and presented it to his professional associate. When he noticed his perplexed face, he explained:
"A metal detector. This allows us to search for gold in the sand more efficiently than with a sieve."
Charon took the device from his hands and examined it thoroughly. Chthonic gods were always a little behind the times. Or a lot. No wonder when time never seemed to pass in the underworld.
"Shall we test it?" he offered. Charon nodded, handing it back. Hermes flipped the switch and with a beep the machine buzzed into life.
"Let's see how much treasure we'll find buried in the sand!" he exclaimed excitedly, hovering over the shore. Charon, capable of levitation as well, took the metal detector from his hands with a growl.
"As you wish, boss. Though if I'm moving too swiftly to detect anything, whose fault is that? Mine or the manufacturer's?" Charon pinched his cheek and slowly moved the device. As it turned out, there were many things one could find with a metal detector. And none of them coins. Hermes wasn't dead set on coins, he'd take rings or other finery any day. But even he was hard-pressed turning bottle caps and tin cans into cash. Charon patiently went for yet another round with him, far away from the others by now. With a sigh, Hermes sat down on a big rock emerging from the sand.
"I'm sorry, boss. Looks like it was just a huge waste of time."
Charon frowned.
"No, really, I know it was. Instead of treasure, we just found trash." He kicked their latest find, a beverage can, a few feet down the beach in frustration. Charon went after it and picked it up, chiding Hermes.
"I know, I know, at least we were cleaning up the beach."
Hermes still felt disappointment. He had imagined that they would find at least one or two coins. Even if they were modern ones that would still have been fun, dating their curious find together. He could have gifted the coins to Charon, playfully said he had paid for a ride. Maybe a bit suggestively too. But it just wouldn't have the same ring to it if he gave him a bottle cap instead. Charon's long, bony fingers patted his head, eliciting a long sigh.
"Guess we're the trash gods," Hermes said. "We should tell Alecto."
A dark chuckle came from his professional associate. It lifted Hermes' spirits somewhat. Maybe he'd find another golden opportunity for flirting. Charon opened his bag of coins and selected a handful. Some of them were exceedingly old, bronze obols minted in the Argolis, iron obols from Sparta and silver obols offered by dead Athenians. Others were quite new, like these copper pennies. There were two of them because the person who had performed the funerary rites had placed them on the eyes instead of putting one under the tongue. But still, it honoured the burial and it paid the boatman. Maybe the mortals thought with the inflation through millennia, prices in the underworld had increased too.
"You're right, boss. We can have fun with the coins you already have."
Charon gave him a low hum in response, lifting Hermes' chin to look up into the purple glow of his eyes. Hermes blushed.
"Now that's mighty sweet of you, boss."
The response sounded almost like a purr. Hermes reached up, his winged boots helping close the distance, and lifted the hat just high enough to press a kiss on Charon's skeletal lips. It was an odd sensation, hard but warm and alive. Much more alive than most skeletons were that Hermes had met but of course there was at least one still living it up in the underworld. Charon's long, thin arms embraced him, enveloping him in the dark, gold-trimmed robe. Hermes' heart fluttered. He wrapped his legs around Charon's waist, kissing him again. Even if the kindness of his professional associate was out of pity, he was happy to accept it. But the gods of the underworld were not exactly known for their compassion. And he prided himself in his social skills and his gut feeling told him it wasn't pity that made Charon stroke his thighs and offer him some purple-glowing tongue.
"It's getting pretty hot there, boss..." Hermes gave him a heated look. "And I'm not talking about Helios."
Charon gave a thoughtful groan.
"Are you making fun of me? I know you're much older than I am. Nyx birthed you at the dawn of creation, right? Me, I'm just a baby Olympian."
A rumbling chuckle came from the Stygian boatman.
"I may not be as ancient as you, boss," Hermes continued, "but I'm old enough to know what I want."
"Hrrrrnnghhhhhhhhh..."
"I really am!"
Hermes demonstratively gave him another kiss, grinding against his professional associate where his legs were wrapped around his waist. Charon's spindly fingers closed around him like clamps, pulling him off with an authoritative murmur. He untangled his dark robe and bedded Hermes onto it atop the sand. Hermes stared, wide-eyed.
"That-That's so sweet of you," he sputtered. "But really, don't worry about me!"
But Charon seemed determined to take this matter into his own bony hands. He looked strange in just his plain black chiton but no less attractive. Hermes spread his legs slightly to allow the chthonic boatman to steal a glance into his shorts. His legs had always been one of his best assets but his cock wasn't too bad either. If Charon took note of it, he was doing it with such subtlety not even the God of Thieves detected it. For a moment Hermes worried that Charon might not be interested in sex at all. Nyx had created some of her children by herself, without a father, so the story said. If he had been born from her and her alone, maybe he didn't feel the need to engage in any sexual activity either. On the other hand, Nyx was far from a virgin goddess. Her union with Erebus was well-known in the underworld though he had been hard-pressed finding anyone who dared gossip about it.
"Charon?"
The chthonic boatman looked at him with his purple glowing eyes.
"Hmmmmmm?"
"Do you have a father? Or did Nyx make you all by herself?"
Charon shook his head in amusement. He released some of the purple vapour from his mouth, pure darkness.
"Does that mean you have Nyx' power? The power of darkness?"
Charon shook his head, correcting him.
"Huh. So you even ENTER Erebus every once in a while?"
Charon shrugged, evidently thinking nothing of it. But it made sense, Hermes thought. If Charon was born from the union of Nyx and Erebus... The thought of the combined power of two such primordial beings concentrated in Charon made Hermes weak in the knees. His professional associate was more of a subtle presence but his power might exceed those of the majority of the underworld.
"Do you, uh..." How should he put this? "Do you enjoy the gifts of Aphrodite?"
Charon groaned.
"Yes, I know the Olympian boons all have the same price tag. I was speaking poetically. Do you enjoy the gifts of her domain? Love. Lust. Beauty? Though beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I don't suppose many of the Olympians would describe underworld deities as particularly beautiful. Which is truly baffling, boss, because I think you are quite handsome."
"Hohhh..."
"I really do. And who wouldn't like a tall, handsome stranger, eh? But back to my original question...?"
Charon seemed to smile if that was even possible with his skeletal face and pushed against him, a bone-hard erection pressing against his thigh. Hermes hadn't thought it possible that he could be flustered but he blushed.
"I see. Quite, uh, quite the equipment, boss, if I may say so?"
Charon rumbled, sounding pleased.
"Does it function like normal or- well, I mean does it function like mine?"
Charon shrugged.
"What do you mean you don't know? I have told you about mine SO many times!"
A chuckle came from his chthonic companion, purple vapour rising from the edges of his mouth.
"I am WOUNDED, boss. WOUNDED!"
Charon's long, pale fingers caressed his cheek, a purring, soothing sound emerging from his throat.
"Yeah, you better make up for that."
Hermes pouted.
His swimming trunks had ridden up, making them even shorter than they already were, the gleaming gold of his thigh ring catching the boatman's gaze. He traced the skin beneath the metal with the pads of his bony index finger.
"You like the gold, boss?"
"Hmmmmmm."
"Or what lies beneath?"
Charon gripped the ring with both hands and gently, slowly, much too slowly, eased it off Hermes' thigh.
"Don't you pocket that!" Hermes warned, "Or I might have to steal your coin necklace to make up for it." He winked.
Charon shook his head, the golden ring vanishing inside Hermes' own bag. Then he bent down, kissing the skin where the ring had left a mark, the vapour crawling over it like some of Hecate's magic potions. It felt strange, the wetness of a lick, but with Charon's essence as a god, intangible and fleeting. Hermes wondered what it would feel like against his cock and the thought made him throb. Charon must have noticed his situation because he reached for the waistband and pulled down his trunks. His erection sprang free, prompting a warm rumble from the boatman.
"Like what you see, boss?"
Did it look strange and exotic to him? Hermes put on a confident smirk.
"Maybe you found a treasure after all?"
Charon growled, giving him a push towards the sand.
"No? Well, boss, one god's trash is another god's treasure."
He palmed his shaft, giving himself a quick rub.
Purple glowing eyes followed his movements. Hermes let go and lifted Charon's long robe, too curious what he would find beneath. The long, sinewy legs wearing several jewel-crusted thigh rings led up to a half-mast erection, the skin as dark as his face, with purple vapour rising from the slit. Hermes gaped. A small golden ring adorned the base of the shaft. Hermes reached out, stopping himself halfway.
"May I touch?" he asked.
Charon took his hand and kissed it, then guided it towards his staff. It felt warm and smooth, like polished bone. And so, so hard! Hermes gulped. He wanted to ride it so badly!
"I have a proposition, boss," he said, his voice thick with lust.
"Hrrrhhroooohh..."
"It's a joint venture beneficial to both of us. See, I can't help but notice this awfully splendid staff you have there, true treasure that one. Now, I am offering to polish that staff if you let me use it. A fair deal, no?"
Charon chuckled, offering his hand to seal the deal. Hermes grabbed it.
"You won't regret it, boss!"
He rummaged through his bag finding a bottle of ambrosia, uncorked it and spread the golden substance over Charon's dark cock. Before he could get to work on himself - and he was fast! - his professional associate had taken possession of the ambrosia bottle and was pouring it down his crack. A pleasant tingle from the divine magic of the thick liquid only raised his excitement. He gasped when he felt the tip of Charon's finger enter, covered in ambrosia. Oh blood and darkness, this was hotter than Helios shining down on this beach! His wings fluttered, the vapour pouring from Charon's mouth as he kissed him making his head swim. The boatman seemed to take forever, punting his depths with long, spindly fingers until, at last, Hermes was a begging mess and Charon seemed satisfied.
"Please, boss, please, please gimme your rod. Please?" he whined, tears shimmering in the edges of his eyes.
Charon made a placatable sound and withdrew from his entrance, giving him a kiss on the forehead.
"I've been waiting so long, I've been so good," Hermes sobbed, "Please, please, please!"
Charon patted his head, careful not to hurt the wings emerging from both sides. Then he lifted him up as if he weighed nothing at all and placed him atop the tip of his cock. Hermes felt the vapour swirl against his anus and it made him groan. Blood and darkness, this was going to end him. He nodded and Charon carefully lowered him, letting him slide down the shaft at glacial speed. Hermes clenched, feeling the unyielding hardness and sucked in his breath.
"Please, boss, please move! Move! Go, go, go!"
"Hrnnnn."
When his demand was rejected, Hermes tried to get momentum going by himself but Charon's grip was tighter than the shackles of Sisyphus. There was no escape.
"Fine, we'll do it your way."
"Hheeehhhhhh."
Charon moved him, slow, so bloody slow!
"Please, boss, I need more speed, more friction, deeper, faster..."
Charon replied by kissing him, the purple vapour enveloping them both, a pleasant dizziness coming with it that dulled the burning need if only temporarily. He felt the vapour curling inside him and it made him drip into the sand.
"Hrrrhhroooohh," Charon teased.
"You're easy yourself, didn't even cost me an obol to mount this ride!"
And what a ride it was! Charon was finally, FINALLYspeeding up, moving him at a fairly decent speed. He slid down so easily, the slippery shaft gliding perfectly. It poked the very centre of his pleasure, making him cry out with lust and sobbing gibberish. But whatever he was trying to say, Charon understood. He adjusted the angle, he sped up, he grazed Hermes' throat until it was perfect and he was slamming against him in the perfect way, again and again until Hermes saw stars, until there was no vapour coming out of Charon's cock but thick, purple come. Hermes slumped against him, sweat glistening in the sunlight.
"That was... that was..."
"Rhhuuaaaauugghhhh."
"Exactly."
He struggled to get up, then decided he wanted to be here just a while longer, snug in Charon's embrace.
"Hey boss! Since we didn't find any coins or jewels in the sand, I might as well take the detector to the Olympians. Do you think I'll find some between the bath sheets?" Hermes winked.
"Gguhhhhhh."
FIN
